Traveling is one of the things that I like a lot. When I was in the corporate setting, I made sure that I make time for holiday every year. One of the most profound journey I made was a six weeks journey to Europe with the main purpose of attending World Youth Day in Madrid, 2011. In preparation to our journey, we spent time researching about the places we wanted to visit. My travel buddies fared so much better when it comes to researching and planning the trip. Somehow, God has given me a lesser portion when it comes to detail orientated stuffs.
Hence, I must say I am truly blessed to be surrounded by people who has eyes for details and that include my travel buddies. Thanks to their meticulous planning, we get to enjoy our trip and build our friendship. Our journey to Europe has widen my perspective about the world significantly and not forgetting the greatest fruit out of that journey was receiving an invitation from God to full time lay mission work. As we traveled, we learnt the reality of being a pilgrim in a foreign place. Pilgrimage is a recurring theme in Christianity and I am slowly learning what it really meant to be on a journey as a pilgrim on earth.
My natural self dislike to linger on things. As much as I love people, I am also a goal driven person. In my natural mode of work, I like to solve things and move on but Jesus has invited me to a road less traveled. A road that requires me to come out of myself; to be more of Christ and less of me. The process has not been really comfortable. In choosing Christ, I am choosing holiness on a daily basis. Allowing Christ to increase involves forgiving people that I felt does not deserve any forgiveness. The question of forgiveness is something that I believe challenges us as Christian to live a life of witness. That has been the case for me and through my journey in this beautiful yet very rough road, I come to realize my need for God. And the saying; “To err is human and to forgive is divine” rang so true for me.
I simply cannot forgive! Not with my own strength. And in this area I am glad that I can run to the One who is able to enable me. Here I would like share a snippet of the taste of forgiveness. I have experienced the direct effect of communication breakdown that causes me to be very upset with the person involved. I was so upset that I did not know how to handle it. The question of why was the other person so unwilling to just communicate rang out so loudly in my mind. I wonder if it is too much to ask for people to communicate for the sake of the relationship. In my human weakness, I was really helpless. I refused to be the first to reconcile after all, it was the other person who took our relationship for granted by refusing to communicate. But all these thoughts were bringing me nowhere. I was left desolated.
In moment like that I thank God for my Savior, Jesus. Yes, all my arguments were valid to a certain degree and I acknowledged that. However, Jesus asked;
“Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye but do not notice the log in your own eye? – Matthew 7: 3
This question from Jesus challenged me to examine my own fault in the issue. I was being really prideful in believing that I have no wrong in it. The other person may have their burdens that have prevented them to communicate with me. Or I may have been too scary to be approached. The scriptures humbled me to acknowledge that I had been hard on the person as well; greeting everyone else with a great smile but not so with the person. I was acting out of my wound and that wound can only be healed by Christ. Thanks be to God for the Sacrament of Reconciliation where I can confess my poverty and to receive the graces I need to be reconciled to God first and then to my neighbour.
I was enabled by Christ to first forgive with my heart the person who trespass against me (that includes forgiving myself for my wrongdoing) and I pray for the grace to be reconciled in my strained relationship. As I look into the journey of forgiveness, it is indeed a narrow path (Matthew 7: 13 -14). I believe it rang true for most of us. Forgiving the other is not something we can naturally do; it takes supernatural strength to be able to do so. To finally come to a place of rest in God that I can cooperate with grace brought me so much of freedom.
What I shared was just a tiny event of forgiveness but some of us were face with devastating events where we are called to forgive the trespasser(s). If God is inviting you to forgive, know that I am praying for you and please take this journey of forgiveness in love. Know that you are infinitely lovable, precious, honoured and called to live a life to the fullest.
May you be blessed!
With lots of love,