Holy Week 2016 was such a great blessing for me. I was privileged to serve at the altar of the Lord for Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Altar serving was not an entirely familiar part of my life as a missionary but I was very excited to be learning new things.
The feeling of privilege reached its height when the Blessed Sacrament was processed out to the Chapel of Repose. I was right in front of Jesus. At that moment I was touched by grace and it continued through the time of keeping watch at the “Garden of Gethsemane”. I realised it was Jesus’ darkest hour on earth and I asked Him; why Lord? You are the God of the universe and yet You are willing to endure that darkness. Why? And at that moment, I could almost hear an audible voice answered me; “Because you are worth it all, my dear”.
I was so touched by those words of love that I could not help but cry. His love is not something I can understand, I was meant to accept it and allow Him to love me. Being human as I am fully equipped with my pride and independence; it was never easy to allow God to love me. My brokenness has rendered me “unloveable” by the world’s standard but there He was at the Garden of Gethsemane pouring out those words of love on me. It has taken God a lot of patience to bring me to this stage of accepting His love.
In my acceptance of this awesome love that fateful evening, I once again surrendered my life to Jesus. In all humility I asked Him to bring with Him all my desires (especially the good ones); to Calvary. Let it all die with Christ that I may look forward to a victorious resurrection.
It’s funny how God confirmed my prayer when He allowed something amazing to happen on Good Friday which is too awesome that would probably take another post to fully savour the beauty of the Healer God. It was an experience of healing and restoration.
Coming back to the answer I heard from Jesus; “Because you are worth it all, my dear”, it was kind of apt that my life theme for this year is “I am worth it because Jesus is worth it all”. Jesus chose to affirm me again in the holiest week of the liturgical year. It is the proof of His love that I do not merit and yet in His mercy, He desires that I receive His love.
As I slowly allow God to love me, I start to see grace at work in my life. I become more cooperative with God’s grace and that has been a great blessing. My view shifted God-ward and I grew more sincere in my prayer life. I am more honest with God and more trusting as well.
Dear friends, if today you are finding it hard to receive love; fret not because LOVE is on His way to help you. It is precisely in our brokenness that we find God and He allowed it for His glory. If you are like me who felt “unloveable”, praise God because MERCY is waiting for you. If you just want it, the floodgate of love is going to be opened to you.
You may wonder, what was the shape of glory for my Easter. Well, it has been blessing upon blessing for me. I see God’s beautiful will unfolding before me. It is truly a victorious time and it is all because my Saviour believed that I am worth it. And that I believe is precisely how He thinks of you. May this Easter season be a time of experiencing God’s love in a whole new level. May you open your heart to Him, allow Him to love you and rest in His love.
May you be blessed!!!
With lots of love,