Category: Faith

You Are Worth It All

On By IreneIn Faith, WorthLeave a comment

Holy Week 2016 was such a great blessing for me. I was privileged to serve at the altar of the Lord for Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Altar serving was not an entirely familiar part of my life as a missionary but I was very excited to be learning new things.

The feeling of privilege reached its height when the Blessed Sacrament was processed out to the Chapel of Repose. I was right in front of Jesus. At that moment I was touched by grace and it continued through the time of keeping watch at the “Garden of Gethsemane”. I realised it was Jesus’ darkest hour on earth and I asked Him; why Lord? You are the God of the universe and yet You are willing to endure that darkness. Why? And at that moment, I could almost hear an audible voice answered me; “Because you are worth it all, my dear”.

I was so touched by those words of love that I could not help but cry. His love is not something I can understand, I was meant to accept it and allow Him to love me. Being human as I am fully equipped with my pride and independence; it was never easy to allow God to love me. My brokenness has rendered me “unloveable” by the world’s standard but there He was at the Garden of Gethsemane pouring out those words of love on me. It has taken God a lot of patience to bring me to this stage of accepting His love.

In my acceptance of this awesome love that fateful evening, I once again surrendered my life to Jesus. In all humility I asked Him to bring with Him all my desires (especially the good ones); to Calvary. Let it all die with Christ that I may look forward to a victorious resurrection.

It’s funny how God confirmed my prayer when He allowed something amazing to happen on Good Friday which is too awesome that would probably take another post to fully savour the beauty of the Healer God. It was an experience of healing and restoration.

Coming back to the answer I heard from Jesus; “Because you are worth it all, my dear”, it was kind of apt that my life theme for this year is “I am worth it because Jesus is worth it all”. Jesus chose to affirm me again in the holiest week of the liturgical year. It is the proof of His love that I do not merit and yet in His mercy, He desires that I receive His love.

As I slowly allow God to love me, I start to see grace at work in my life. I become more cooperative with God’s grace and that has been a great blessing. My view shifted God-ward and I grew more sincere in my prayer life. I am more honest with God and more trusting as well.

Dear friends, if today you are finding it hard to receive love; fret not because LOVE is on His way to help you. It is precisely in our brokenness that we find God and He allowed it for His glory. If you are like me who felt “unloveable”, praise God because MERCY is waiting for you. If you just want it, the floodgate of love is going to be opened to you.

You may wonder, what was the shape of glory for my Easter. Well, it has been blessing upon blessing for me. I see God’s beautiful will unfolding before me. It is truly a victorious time and it is all because my Saviour believed that I am worth it. And that I believe is precisely how He thinks of you. May this Easter season be a time of experiencing God’s love in a whole new level. May you open your heart to Him, allow Him to love you and rest in His love.

May you be blessed!!!

With lots of love,
Irene

Power of the Embrace

On By IreneIn Faith1 Comment

I was on duty to carry the cross in procession during a Stations of the Cross session and I was worried if my hands are going to sore as the old wound on my right wrist was showing up again. Experienced cross bearers gave me suggestions on how the cross is best carried, afterall it was a long journey.

Right before the procession I decided to adapt to a method suggested to me: to carry it in an embracing way. And as I move along, to shuffle my hands so as to give my hands some relief. I did just that and at the end of the session, a friend, who is an experienced cross bearer asked me; was it easier carrying the cross that way? I answered; yes, it is much more bearable when I embrace the cross.

At that moment of grace I realised the significance of my statement. Many are times I found myself grumbling and rejecting my cross. The “why me?” litany and pity party were part of the drama. My attitude has rendered the cross heavier and very unbearable.

As I grew in my relationship with Christ, I slowly came to a state of surrender and rest in the Lord. In surrendering to the One who wants nothing short of the best for me, I became more accepting of my unpleasant circumstances a.k.a. my crosses.

In our walks of life, crosses are part of the journey. Our crosses often represents an uncomfortable situation. When we are uncomfortable, there bound to be the tendency to complain and may even compel the person to run away from his/her situation. Afterall, some say; ignorance is bliss. It may be a short lived bliss but mind you, problems unfaced will come back to haunt you as a matter of time. That has been my experience when I allowed myself to be deceived by my deliberate ignorance.

In this light, it makes perfect sense to face our crosses. The way I find efficacious is by embracing my cross. I must admit my crosses are hard and very unlike a soft toy that is nice to be hugged. My crosses are rough, hard and heavy. Knowing clearly well that the way to my freedom is by carrying my cross, I choose to embrace it because embracing my cross made it more bearable. The weight remained the same but the way I carry it brings a significant difference to my journey.

Crosses are meant to be carried anyway, why not choose a way that makes my journey more beautiful and meaningful? Personally for me, my way of embracing my cross starts with an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude opens the floodgate of grace and grace is the sustenance of the journey. Having the attitude of gratitude does not mean I would not fall; I could not even begin to count how unfaithful I had been in carrying my cross. I still complain, I still grumble and I still struggle. Through the times I fell, I came to understand the value of being dependent on God and being totally honest with Him. In my honesty, oftentimes I wrestle with God and as Jacob did, I will not let go unless He blesses me.

My stubbornness in my wrestle is the blessing that oftentimes brought me to a place of rest and trust. As I rest in God, I gained my energy to continue in my journey once again; to pick up my cross, embrace it and to carry it along my journey again. The destination makes it worthwhile to travel my journey carrying my cross and the power of the embrace gave me the eyes to appreciate the spectacular view of the journey.

Dear friends, wherever you are in your journey of life, know that victory is eminent and I pray that you are encouraged to embrace your cross and march the victorious journey of life.

May you be blessed 😘

With lots of love,

Irene

Two Years Later

On By IreneIn Faith, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I do not feel the pain of the wounds any more. But the scar of my father’s sudden departure is still visible. Two years ago today was an emotional day of saying my earthly goodbye to my earthly father. Two years flew by just like that but not without watering and nourishing my soul.

Reflecting upon the time of my mourning and finally coming to a total letting go has been a great blessing to me. I recall my time of mourning the loss of my father and I realised I went through that time in gratitude. I am grateful and very privilege to be born in this family that my father and my mother built. I am grateful that I had him for 32 years before seeing him off to our Heavenly Father. I am grateful for the ups and downs we had when I was growing up. I am grateful that my father chose to fight for our family and stayed as the head of the family. I am grateful that I am just like my father (indeed proud of it). I am grateful for the times we fought because through those times we grew to understand and love each other. I am grateful to be able to see how my father tried his best to be supportive; to be a father to the best of his ability.

Mom, Dad and I My parents and I (2013)

Most importantly, I am grateful that he is given the gift of salvation in the eleventh hour of his life. Two years later things are still looking kind of rocky but I have peace of knowing that my father is in the good place. Since dad’s death, I have been reflecting a lot about death and how it teaches me about life. Death brings people together; the masks went down and true emotions arise. But how long would this sincerity lasts? More often than not, people forget easily the lesson of death, most especially when the dispute of money is involved. Family broke apart and ended up not seeing each other eye to eye. My family has not been spared from disputes as well and that has placed a deep sorrow in me.  Some part of me felt that I should be conforming to the demands of the family and stay back at home but deep within I knew I could not deny this call to mission God has placed in my heart.

Being far from home put me in a position of helplessness. This helplessness is also an opportunity to trust. The experience of exercising my trust have given the peace that surpasses all understanding. The more I cannot do anything physically, the more powerfully God can work. It is not a logic that is easily understood, rather it is an experience that teaches me about who God is and who am I in Him.

There are heaps of time that I wished things are a little smoother and easier but I learnt that anything worthwhile has to go through purification. Any precious gems or pure gold can only come to the true state of pricelessness through rigorous purification which I believe are not pleasant. These two years has been a time of rigorous purification for me. I learnt about the value of letting go and letting God, the beautiful freedom of trusting God fully and the amazing life of allowing myself to be loved by God. Coming to term with God’s will has taken me a journey of discovery. In the journey, the road can be really rough and tough but as I look up, I can see that the scenery is beautiful and the destination; makes the journey worthwhile.

SiblingsWith my siblings – re-enactment of of childhood photo (two days before our father died)

So, looking back from two years ago when salvation came to my household (Luke 19: 9); I am filled with a sense of gratitude. My father’s death has definitely impacted my life deeply and it has also encouraged me to live my life to the fullest. I realised the importance to die well by living my life well. I want to leave a legacy on this earth and I began to realise how important it is after saying to goodbye to the man who gave me my life. I also began to realise how true the word of God is when He said;

“Heaven and earth will pass away but my word will not pass away” – Matthew 24: 35

Things on this earth are temporal even the best of our relationships. In our best relationship we know that one day it will be a goodbye. Therefore it is so important to build our lives upon the rock of Christ. In view of the temporal nature of our lives, I choose to appreciate my relationships. I choose to love the people God has placed in my journey of life. I choose to cherish moments of my life that would enrich my journey. I choose the purifying part of loving others, loving myself and allowing others to love me. So, thank you for making a positive impact in my life.

For my father, I would say;

“Pah, even in death you are loving me. Thank you for shaping my thought and praying for me. I love you and will always cherish the gift of life you have given me. I pray that you are dwelling in your eternal rest with Jesus”

With lots of love,

Irene