Category: Faith

The Man After God’s Own Heart

On By IreneIn FaithLeave a comment

A little more than a month ago I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to start a new journey. A journey with a special person; who was highly esteemed – THE man after God’s own heart. Most of us would have associated that title to King David as the bible has shown us the evidence of this (Acts 13: 22). I do believe that this inspirational man has inspired countless men to be like him; a man after God’s own heart. And I believe one of them was his very own descendent; Joseph, the foster Father of Jesus.

God has indeed been very kind to me by inviting me to a 30 Days novena journey with St. Joseph; starting on his feast day, 19 March (one of the 2 days that the Church will break her silence during Lent and sing the Gloria) all through to completion on 16 April. It has been nothing short of an adventure learning from this great man of God; whom I now fondly call as my good father. In the beginning of the journey, what stood out for me were 2 words; OBEDIENCE and HUMILITY.

He was that wise man in tune with God that he could hear God’s command clearly. He was not just a hearer of the Word but a doer as well. Evidenced in his prompt action to take Mary as his wife, quickly move both the Child and Mother to safety in Egypt and brought them back to Israel at the appointed time. As I journey along, I pondered upon the ability of St. Joseph to be a doer of the Word. How did he hear so clearly? Where did he get all those courage to respond? I came to realise the answer lies in his relationship with God. His prayer life must have built that intimate relationship with God that eventually made him a man after God’s own heart. The way he pursued God’s will is really something I want to emulate.

Reflecting upon my own life from the point of view of St. Joseph’s sanctity, I see the beauty of my imperfections. We do not have much biblical source about his life but somehow I am pretty sure he was as human as you and I are. I am pretty sure he has some plans and hopes for the future, he has his struggles and joy; he has his temperance and reservations, strengths and weaknesses. After all, he was a through and through ordinary human being called to carry an extraordinary mission – being the protector and provider for the Son of God and His mother. God, the Father must have trusted this man tremendously. Looking at the mission He has placed in my life, I realised that God trusted me tremendously as well. It is I who could not trust myself as much as God trust me. It is I who sees me as small and insignificant but God sees me differently. More often than not, it is pretty hard for me to accept these facts. How could the God of the Universe love me this much? What does He really see in me? I may not be able to find the answer to my questions because the mysterious element in our relationship with God is what made the journey of life really exciting. In this excitement, I believe that God is always more, there is always more to His mercy and His love. I also believe that God desires to see me grow; therefore there is always more to what He can offer. With that sentiment, I came to accept that the best way to move in His word and Spirit as St. Joseph did is to rest in His love.

St. Joseph has the privilege of beholding the face of God when he accepted his mission on earth to be the earthly father figure of Jesus. I would imagine the smile on his face when Jesus first started to respond to His surroundings. Joseph must have been overwhelmed with joy at the first word Jesus uttered as a baby. What excitement must it been for him to see Jesus taking His very first step! The joy of parenthood was given him by the gift of Jesus. I wondered how did he disciplined Jesus, how did he pass on the tradition of faith to Jesus and how did he teach Him the trade of carpentry. Was he upset when Jesus was lost for 3 days in the temple? Was he distressed when the angel asked him to bring His family to Egypt? Was he worried when he was required to bring his heavily pregnant wife on the journey to Bethlehem? Was he panicked when there was no place to the Child to be born? Was he concerned about providence for his journey and livelihood of his family?

The privilege he enjoyed comes with the beauty of ordinary lives – the package of joys and struggles. I personally grumble a lot when I struggle. I wanted things my way – the easy way; which is more often than not, opposed to the way of God. God has wanted me to walk through the narrow path of purification just so I can behold His face. The process has always been unpleasant but the destination is always beautiful. All through the struggles that I have been through, I learnt to sail through my storms of life with gratitude. I admit that it is not always easy to be grateful especially when God seems to permit my least favourite struggles. These are the times I can depend on His grace. Through my journey with St. Joseph, I can also see that his was a life depended on grace. His obedience to the Word of God made him a humble man. It is the same for me as well, when God disciplined me; I find myself struggling to obey Him but once I did, I see the fruit of humility in my life. God is changing me and increasing in me His virtue, slowly but surely. Looking at the hindsight, I can be grateful for everything that the Lord has allowed to happen because He has purposed everything for my growth – to be imperfectly beautiful and perfectly loved.

Dear friends, I pray that you are encouraged to embrace your beauty through your imperfections. St. Joseph being a great saint has also lived an ordinary life-like each of us. He has left us with a legacy that we can exemplify. I am grateful for this silent but profoundly influential man. God in His genius plan for family has provided for His Son a place of nurture with the basic of a male and a female figure. Seeing the drama of St. Joseph’s life, I cannot help but praise the Director of this drama, God the Father. The plot was amazing; the suspense was great with the adventures (I am imagining some background music here 😉 ) and the message – Redemptive. May you be encouraged by this great man after God’s own heart to build a deeper relationship with God.

St. Joseph, pray for us.

With lots of love,

Irene

 

You Are Worth It All

On By IreneIn Faith, WorthLeave a comment

Holy Week 2016 was such a great blessing for me. I was privileged to serve at the altar of the Lord for Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Altar serving was not an entirely familiar part of my life as a missionary but I was very excited to be learning new things.

The feeling of privilege reached its height when the Blessed Sacrament was processed out to the Chapel of Repose. I was right in front of Jesus. At that moment I was touched by grace and it continued through the time of keeping watch at the “Garden of Gethsemane”. I realised it was Jesus’ darkest hour on earth and I asked Him; why Lord? You are the God of the universe and yet You are willing to endure that darkness. Why? And at that moment, I could almost hear an audible voice answered me; “Because you are worth it all, my dear”.

I was so touched by those words of love that I could not help but cry. His love is not something I can understand, I was meant to accept it and allow Him to love me. Being human as I am fully equipped with my pride and independence; it was never easy to allow God to love me. My brokenness has rendered me “unloveable” by the world’s standard but there He was at the Garden of Gethsemane pouring out those words of love on me. It has taken God a lot of patience to bring me to this stage of accepting His love.

In my acceptance of this awesome love that fateful evening, I once again surrendered my life to Jesus. In all humility I asked Him to bring with Him all my desires (especially the good ones); to Calvary. Let it all die with Christ that I may look forward to a victorious resurrection.

It’s funny how God confirmed my prayer when He allowed something amazing to happen on Good Friday which is too awesome that would probably take another post to fully savour the beauty of the Healer God. It was an experience of healing and restoration.

Coming back to the answer I heard from Jesus; “Because you are worth it all, my dear”, it was kind of apt that my life theme for this year is “I am worth it because Jesus is worth it all”. Jesus chose to affirm me again in the holiest week of the liturgical year. It is the proof of His love that I do not merit and yet in His mercy, He desires that I receive His love.

As I slowly allow God to love me, I start to see grace at work in my life. I become more cooperative with God’s grace and that has been a great blessing. My view shifted God-ward and I grew more sincere in my prayer life. I am more honest with God and more trusting as well.

Dear friends, if today you are finding it hard to receive love; fret not because LOVE is on His way to help you. It is precisely in our brokenness that we find God and He allowed it for His glory. If you are like me who felt “unloveable”, praise God because MERCY is waiting for you. If you just want it, the floodgate of love is going to be opened to you.

You may wonder, what was the shape of glory for my Easter. Well, it has been blessing upon blessing for me. I see God’s beautiful will unfolding before me. It is truly a victorious time and it is all because my Saviour believed that I am worth it. And that I believe is precisely how He thinks of you. May this Easter season be a time of experiencing God’s love in a whole new level. May you open your heart to Him, allow Him to love you and rest in His love.

May you be blessed!!!

With lots of love,
Irene

Power of the Embrace

On By IreneIn Faith1 Comment

I was on duty to carry the cross in procession during a Stations of the Cross session and I was worried if my hands are going to sore as the old wound on my right wrist was showing up again. Experienced cross bearers gave me suggestions on how the cross is best carried, afterall it was a long journey.

Right before the procession I decided to adapt to a method suggested to me: to carry it in an embracing way. And as I move along, to shuffle my hands so as to give my hands some relief. I did just that and at the end of the session, a friend, who is an experienced cross bearer asked me; was it easier carrying the cross that way? I answered; yes, it is much more bearable when I embrace the cross.

At that moment of grace I realised the significance of my statement. Many are times I found myself grumbling and rejecting my cross. The “why me?” litany and pity party were part of the drama. My attitude has rendered the cross heavier and very unbearable.

As I grew in my relationship with Christ, I slowly came to a state of surrender and rest in the Lord. In surrendering to the One who wants nothing short of the best for me, I became more accepting of my unpleasant circumstances a.k.a. my crosses.

In our walks of life, crosses are part of the journey. Our crosses often represents an uncomfortable situation. When we are uncomfortable, there bound to be the tendency to complain and may even compel the person to run away from his/her situation. Afterall, some say; ignorance is bliss. It may be a short lived bliss but mind you, problems unfaced will come back to haunt you as a matter of time. That has been my experience when I allowed myself to be deceived by my deliberate ignorance.

In this light, it makes perfect sense to face our crosses. The way I find efficacious is by embracing my cross. I must admit my crosses are hard and very unlike a soft toy that is nice to be hugged. My crosses are rough, hard and heavy. Knowing clearly well that the way to my freedom is by carrying my cross, I choose to embrace it because embracing my cross made it more bearable. The weight remained the same but the way I carry it brings a significant difference to my journey.

Crosses are meant to be carried anyway, why not choose a way that makes my journey more beautiful and meaningful? Personally for me, my way of embracing my cross starts with an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude opens the floodgate of grace and grace is the sustenance of the journey. Having the attitude of gratitude does not mean I would not fall; I could not even begin to count how unfaithful I had been in carrying my cross. I still complain, I still grumble and I still struggle. Through the times I fell, I came to understand the value of being dependent on God and being totally honest with Him. In my honesty, oftentimes I wrestle with God and as Jacob did, I will not let go unless He blesses me.

My stubbornness in my wrestle is the blessing that oftentimes brought me to a place of rest and trust. As I rest in God, I gained my energy to continue in my journey once again; to pick up my cross, embrace it and to carry it along my journey again. The destination makes it worthwhile to travel my journey carrying my cross and the power of the embrace gave me the eyes to appreciate the spectacular view of the journey.

Dear friends, wherever you are in your journey of life, know that victory is eminent and I pray that you are encouraged to embrace your cross and march the victorious journey of life.

May you be blessed 😘

With lots of love,

Irene

Two Years Later

On By IreneIn Faith, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I do not feel the pain of the wounds any more. But the scar of my father’s sudden departure is still visible. Two years ago today was an emotional day of saying my earthly goodbye to my earthly father. Two years flew by just like that but not without watering and nourishing my soul.

Reflecting upon the time of my mourning and finally coming to a total letting go has been a great blessing to me. I recall my time of mourning the loss of my father and I realised I went through that time in gratitude. I am grateful and very privilege to be born in this family that my father and my mother built. I am grateful that I had him for 32 years before seeing him off to our Heavenly Father. I am grateful for the ups and downs we had when I was growing up. I am grateful that my father chose to fight for our family and stayed as the head of the family. I am grateful that I am just like my father (indeed proud of it). I am grateful for the times we fought because through those times we grew to understand and love each other. I am grateful to be able to see how my father tried his best to be supportive; to be a father to the best of his ability.

Mom, Dad and I My parents and I (2013)

Most importantly, I am grateful that he is given the gift of salvation in the eleventh hour of his life. Two years later things are still looking kind of rocky but I have peace of knowing that my father is in the good place. Since dad’s death, I have been reflecting a lot about death and how it teaches me about life. Death brings people together; the masks went down and true emotions arise. But how long would this sincerity lasts? More often than not, people forget easily the lesson of death, most especially when the dispute of money is involved. Family broke apart and ended up not seeing each other eye to eye. My family has not been spared from disputes as well and that has placed a deep sorrow in me.  Some part of me felt that I should be conforming to the demands of the family and stay back at home but deep within I knew I could not deny this call to mission God has placed in my heart.

Being far from home put me in a position of helplessness. This helplessness is also an opportunity to trust. The experience of exercising my trust have given the peace that surpasses all understanding. The more I cannot do anything physically, the more powerfully God can work. It is not a logic that is easily understood, rather it is an experience that teaches me about who God is and who am I in Him.

There are heaps of time that I wished things are a little smoother and easier but I learnt that anything worthwhile has to go through purification. Any precious gems or pure gold can only come to the true state of pricelessness through rigorous purification which I believe are not pleasant. These two years has been a time of rigorous purification for me. I learnt about the value of letting go and letting God, the beautiful freedom of trusting God fully and the amazing life of allowing myself to be loved by God. Coming to term with God’s will has taken me a journey of discovery. In the journey, the road can be really rough and tough but as I look up, I can see that the scenery is beautiful and the destination; makes the journey worthwhile.

SiblingsWith my siblings – re-enactment of of childhood photo (two days before our father died)

So, looking back from two years ago when salvation came to my household (Luke 19: 9); I am filled with a sense of gratitude. My father’s death has definitely impacted my life deeply and it has also encouraged me to live my life to the fullest. I realised the importance to die well by living my life well. I want to leave a legacy on this earth and I began to realise how important it is after saying to goodbye to the man who gave me my life. I also began to realise how true the word of God is when He said;

“Heaven and earth will pass away but my word will not pass away” – Matthew 24: 35

Things on this earth are temporal even the best of our relationships. In our best relationship we know that one day it will be a goodbye. Therefore it is so important to build our lives upon the rock of Christ. In view of the temporal nature of our lives, I choose to appreciate my relationships. I choose to love the people God has placed in my journey of life. I choose to cherish moments of my life that would enrich my journey. I choose the purifying part of loving others, loving myself and allowing others to love me. So, thank you for making a positive impact in my life.

For my father, I would say;

“Pah, even in death you are loving me. Thank you for shaping my thought and praying for me. I love you and will always cherish the gift of life you have given me. I pray that you are dwelling in your eternal rest with Jesus”

With lots of love,

Irene