Category: Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey

The Fruit of Myasthenia Gravis is Priceless!

On By IreneIn Affirmation, Celebration, Coaching, Courage, Faith, Grace, Healing, Hope, Journey, Kingdom Lifestyle, Mental Fitness, Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey, Season of Life, Suffering, The Beloved Who Suffers WellLeave a comment

Growing up things has not been that hard for me. I also have the tendency to take the easy way out. Seemingly blessed with good brain, being born in relatively stable home and having the privilege of being native of the land has also given me easier opportunities. I get into uni with my native quota and upon graduation it was relatively easy to get a job. Then changing job gave me a huge leap in my paycheck. Being a driven person, hitting target was my aim because earning a bigger paycheck was of utmost importance. It was not too hard but it was not too easy either. Being raised by my strict father, it was in my system to make things work for me. Even when I cried over my decision, I have to try to make things work and not giving up too easily. Those foundation has given me a good starting point.

Despite all the worldly successes that I experienced in the past, my heart was never satisfied. I was yearning for something more and that yearning eventually led me to quit my job and be in mission fully covered by God. Boy the lesson was tough. I grumble often and still did not learn my lesson of trust until Myasthenia Gravis (MG) made an entrance to my life. In the first few years of living with MG, I still did not grasp the real value of patience. Only after the crisis in 2023 did I finally grasp the meaning of patient suffering.

My desire for complete healing, I mean complete healing was and still is strong. I am only settling for the best and so I set myself to a heck of a journey. I know for a fact that allopathic medicine can only bring me to the point of monthly maintenance subscription. The management protocols are not designed for healing, only for control. But control is necessary to buy me time and give me clarity on what needs to be done.

In my quest of reversing MG, I learnt patience. At first rather reluctantly but eventually I understood the value of my suffering. God the Father invited me to live a life as the beloved who suffers well. I said yes though I did not know what does that entail. I was still restless and eager in an impatient (or lack of trust) way to get rid of the modern medication I was on. When I woke up in the ICU room realising that the cup of suffering was not to pass me, that was my moment of victorious surrender. I began learning patience as I was well aware I needed time to heal. I needed to be patient with myself and trust the process. I made a remarkable recovery journey. Got us a new off roader to serve us for our land that I signed the S&P of a week prior to ICU admission; travelled to the neigbouring country for a friend’s wedding – all within 6 months post ICU.

However, I was still a slow learner of patience even through the physical need to suffer. My life was still chaotic and God came to bring order to the chaos. I restarted scripture reading discipline which I thought was too hard after having my child. It was not the easiest restart as my nervous system was still on a high alert. I literally fought with my four year old back then to secure my sacred hour in the morning. Even though I knew I needed to be patient, my disposition was still an impatient one – deep in I did not give myself the space to really be. I still did not know how to properly allow myself to feel, I was swinging the pendulum between hope and despair. But I also noticed the time of recovery becomes faster and faster.

Then came the minor flare end of 2024, it was not too bad, even turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I know now that all my physical actions worked to heal my thymus and shrink the thymoma. That flare became the turning point of helping me to realize I have allowed stress to consume my being. Stress that resulted in a flare. It took me quite a long time to stabilize again. Through that I learnt the value of patient bearing of suffering. I also learnt that I had heaps of unprocessed and hidden fear. Those fear were false evidence appearing real. When I decided to face them, they came out bigger and scarier! Faith and techniques I learnt through the years was my remedy of these fears. My faith was put to test and I was willing to walk the rugged terrain of suffering to get to the side of victory. This victory was also fueled by our dire financial situation which I will share adventure of it in my next post.

Months after months of practicing simple breathing exercise has helped me to calm down relatively faster. I first learnt of pursed lips breathing after my ICU stay. It was a necessary part of my lungs healing. Till today I am still struggling with phlegm built up two years post extubation. I came to realize that I am only affected at a certain time of the day, most likely coinciding with the trauma of the time of reintubation. That helped me to learn about the power of mind body connection in healing. I started making it a point to build a stronger mindset that serves me using all sort of hacks from dopamine hacks to positive self talk to applying scriptures in my specific situation. The stronger mindset resulted in me being able to handle difficult things much better. For example, I used to think that exercise was too hard for me. What actually happened was the underlying fear of triggering MG with exercise. But I had a lung condition that took too long to heal, so I started walking on the treadmill for cardio exercise. It was initially hard but as I kept telling myself I was doing hard work, my brain kept rewarding me with quality dopamine. It gets easier and I even expanded to the bicycle as well as weight exercises.

As I keep expanding my mindset to one that is ordered towards the Word of God using physical and tangible techniques, I found myself more and more able to handle stress and challenges. I just show up in life together with MG. Knowing my limit and keep expanding it as well. My nervous system has become more regulated and calmed down. This greatly helped with healing. Not only that, the pages of the scripture jumps out in real life for me. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” – Philippians 4: 13; became my theme of this season. Truly I can only do all things because of the strength I received from Christ. His strength helped me to patiently bear my suffering, learnt from it, grew in endurance and that endurance produces hope that does not disappoint.

Dear friends, what sufferings are you carrying? How would you like to grow in the virtue of patience and perseverance? What are your hope for the suffering you are carrying? Let’s connect to share more about this.

With lots of love,
Irene

Lifestyle Modification for Healing

On By IreneIn Commitment, Faith, Grace, Healing, Hope, Journey, Myasthenia Gravis Healing JourneyLeave a comment

I was at my routine acupuncture appointment when another patient asked me to help with translation. At the end of it, I was amazed that she refused acupuncture when that treatment was likely to help her heal the pain she was experiencing way more effectively. When I talked about it with my TCM physician, he made a comment that the pain was not enough for her to take up the treatment. It made me realized my motivation to change my lifestyle was mainly driven by pain of Myasthenia Gravis (MG). I don’t actually live with physical pain but MG gave me different kind of pain. I used to be active, fun, talkative (still is although limited) and adventurous. With MG, I learnt (or rather I have to) to ration my energy usage as my muscles gets tired easily. So I cannot be as active and as I used to be. I love going on hikes and quite an outdoor person; with MG even that has to be rationed. I’ve always imagined myself being a fun mom, one who would bring her children out often and play with them; with MG I have to ration that (and it breaks my heart).

Talking about children, we’ve always wanted a bigger family; with MG or rather with the immunosuppressant I am on, we are forced to avoid pregnancy. That really breaks my heart (and my husband’s too). I am a person who enjoys my independence, hence the pain of not being able to drive confidently due to double vision was such a great motivation to change and find my remedy. Pain is indeed a great motivator but we need to take action in order to move away from the pain towards our goal of healing. I am grateful that I had some training on what to do when faced with sickness. When I married my husband I took over the role of nourishing him with food that heals. He lives with ulcerative colitis and I learnt first hand how lifestyle modification has helped him to be in remission. So the first thing I did was to look into my diet.

Diet Adjustment
It takes some trial and error to find what’s most suitable. I started with cutting off gluten, progressed to cutting off carbs and after being in the ICU, I cut off store bought broccoli and severely cut down my plants intake. That’s when things started looking much better. When I ran a research on diet for MG, there were several testimonies that said plant based diet worked for them. So I gave it a try and it did not go well with me. The vegetarian diet is not suitable for me. Switching to meat based ketogenic diet has helped me. I still have my herbs and spices because I love the flavor in my food. My diet still consist of some carbs and I also find that I can handle “these”troublesome” food much better now than when I was sicker.

We have an amazing eating out culture here and I enjoy our local food a lot. So when my husband’s income shrunk, the first thing we do to cut down our expenses was to not eat out. Just three months after that, I started driving confidently. It was so amazing that now I would think a few times before deciding to eat out. The problem with eating out lies not just in the carbs, I suspect carbs is the least of the problem. My biggest issue may be the additives in food which are mostly chemical. Well, I am grateful that the fruit of our financial crisis is improved body health.

Reducing Toxic Load
The second action I took in my effort to heal was to reduce my toxic load. I changed all my cleaning agents to natural based agents. Chemical absorbs through the skin and inhalation, so my thought is that reducing the toxic load at home would be helpful. I’ve also been replacing my plasticware to glass or stainless steel. This is to reduce the potential of hormone disruption from plastic. Glass or stainless steel ware are also easier to clean. I am aware that it is challenging to completely get rid of the use of plastic at home, so minimizing my exposure is the best that I can do.

Managing EMF Exposure
We discovered the detrimental effect of EMF exposure by accident. My husband has been on the sensitive side with food due to ulcerative colitis, so his list of avoidance was pretty long to begin with. When we first got married, the avoidance list was not good but also not too bad. He could handle tomatoes better back then but after a few years of moving to my homeland, he started getting more autoimmune reaction with the sensitive ingredients like tomatoes. It got so bad that I completely cut off tomatoes. It was frustrating because tomatoes makes food delicious. On the other hand, the restrictions made me creative with the way I cook. I make sweet and sour dishes without tomatoes or pineapple and it’s still delicious. The frustration however, got us to start looking back at what changed. We discovered that 5G was rolled out in 2021, it was not long after that my husband started getting more and more reaction. That realization led us to action. We know that EMF does not cause disease but it certainly hinders our body’s ability to heal.

We quickly got a new grounding mat as the old one does not work that well anymore. The EMF guarding is especially crucial for sleep, because that’s the time our body recover and heal. Sleeping with grounding mat has helped my husband in reducing the pain that resulted from autoimmune reaction. I still remember when I was in a serious MG flare back in Dec 2022, grounding helped me to manage the symptoms. I could sleep better and the attacks were not as bad. This is because grounding help our bodies to discharge to the earth. With the free radicals discharged from our bodies, inflammation is reduced. The other thing was sewing EMF blocker sheet on our curtain. It is very effective to block out EMF wave coming from 5G towers. There are so many of them in the cities. Ugly but serving an important function. Who doesn’t like good cellphone reception? I certainly appreciate that. So the best we can do is to manage our exposure.

As we’ve discovered, we cannot completely get rid of unhealthy food, plastic and EMF exposure, so periodically we do need to detoxify. In my next post, I am going to share my detoxification protocol over the years. Hope you are blessed and encouraged by what I’ve shared. Do share it with someone who may benefit from this.

With lots of love,
Irene

mindset matters thymoma healing myasthenia gravis

Mindset Matters In Healing Journey

On By IreneIn Faith, Grace, Healing, Mental Fitness, Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey, Season of Life, Suffering, The Beloved Who Suffers Well, WorthLeave a comment

The difference between a strong mindset day and a weak day can be felt in my body. On days I feel strong and possible, it normally go that way – strong and possible, symptoms at bay. When my mind are being cluttered with objections to what’s possible, my body gets the bashing – symptoms flare. After years of living with Myasthenia Gravis (MG), my observation is that it is way better to have a strong mindset. It takes time to build up those mental muscles and the good news is that our brain is pretty dynamic to serve us better.

Mindset in the context of healing basically covers how strong or how deep is our belief that our body has the capacity to heal. Do we believe that healing is possible? Knowing the answer to this will help us to see how far we will go. If our belief in healing is not that deep, we can change that because again our brain is dynamic and those mental muscles can be retrain towards serving us better. The next question to ponder is; are we willing to do what it takes to get to our desired bodily healing?

I sure am willing but I was also painfully aware of my own limiting beliefs. It was like a tug of war in my head; I really desire and believe that healing is possible for me and at the same time there’s an opposing voice throwing doubts. My prayer at times like that mimics the father from Mark 9: 24 – Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief. His grace indeed does not disappoint as He continued to help me to strengthen my belief.

During the early days of diagnosis, things can be overwhelming and I was not spared of that. I remember hearing so many noises and I did not know which one to believe. All I knew at that time was that the journey of healing is going to be grace-filled for me. I started learning about more about MG just to gain better understanding on what’s going on with me. The things I learnt did not always sit well with me; in fact some of the information or medical labels was personally quite discouraging. One example is the definition of autoimmunity. It is commonly expressed as your body fighting against you. That did not sit well with me because I believe in a God who made all things well and that includes my body. Our body is made to fight for us, not against us. It is made to protect us but why autoimmune happened then?. That question led me to dig deeper into the health rabbit hole that I got into and I found a definition that resonates better with me. 

What causes disease is first of all a weak body as a result of toxin accumulation. The accumulated poison in our body can then confused our immune system. Therefore my body needed of help and time to detoxify, and then heal itself. With a picture like this, I felt at peace with my body. Knowing full well that my body is not at war gave me confidence and even built up my endurance in the healing journey. Just the change of view or label if you’d like that; change my whole perspective which in turn change my belief system to a more life giving one.

The opposite of life giving is life taking and what often caused that is FEAR. Fear is an integral part of life, necessary for survival but there is also fear created by our hypervigilant mind. These fears are often a result of a traumatic experience. For those of us who live with a chronic condition, it is a traumatic experience to be diagnosed with something that change our lives forever. For me I can no longer be that energizer bunny I used to be; my level of efficiency dropped and it takes me way longer to complete a task that used to be easy for me; at the peak of the symptoms I cannot even tie my own hair. There was a period of time when driving was so hard that I gave up for safety reason. It was hard and it can be scary. So I recognized how my hypervigilant mind would “warn” me about dangers that were often irrational. If not properly addressed, these fears can cripple us to the point of not living well.

Just a few weeks ago, I went for a walk on a lonely road surrounded by beautiful forest accompanied by the sound of the river. On the side of the road were lands owned by independent farmers, so on one of side of the road, I spotted a few empty chemical barrels. Immediately fear kicked in; my heart rate went up and I started to feel symptoms rising. In Apr 2023, I had a myasthenic crisis requiring ventilation that was caused by chemical induced pneumonia. Long story short, I was exposed to pesticides while walking at a park. The memory of the ICU stay came rushing in and it was not pleasant. My survival mind said: I do not want that again. Thanks be to God I became aware of what’s going on in my mind, it was my hypervigilant mind going on high alert and it was irrational. I started doing pursed lips breathing to calm myself. As I calmed down, I started thinking more clearly: I was in a way better state than I was in 2023. I’ve done a lot of work on my body, so my body has way better ability to detox, plus the thymoma shrunk by 50% and scripture said that no poison shall prevail against me (Mark 16: 18)!. I said a prayer and told myself that it is safe, that I am strong enough for this and that if any chemical has been sprayed, it would have been some time ago as evidenced by the appearance of the grass.

Regulating back to safety reinforces in my mind that the irrational fear can be overcome. I finished that walk feeling stronger, climbed about 800m of distance in a 200m ascend without the need of mestinon (the anticholinerase drug I used to help manage symptoms). 

Stronger mindset is a life time of work. As we build our mental muscles, we will also grow more resilient and will be able to do things that was seemingly impossible when we were not living with chronic illness.  Do you find this helpful in your journey? Let me know in the comment what helps you to build a stronger mindset. Let’s connect to support each other in our journey of building stronger mental muscles.

Our being is body, mind and soul. To achieve bodily healing, actions need to be taken to give our body the best chance. I will share more in depth in my next post.

With lots of love,
Irene

Healing is Possible – Thymoma 50% Shrunk!

On By IreneIn Healing, Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey, Suffering, The Beloved Who Suffers WellLeave a comment

So I had a flare early Dec 2024 which took a worse turn after 2 sleepless nights. With the symptoms of Myasthenia Gravis (MG) not stabilizing well enough by my routine appointment in early Jan, I caved in to 2 doses IV immunoglobulin which required hospitalization. Since I was warded, my neurologist asked if I’d like a chest CT scan done. It has been almost 2 years since my last scan, so I thought why not (even though it was not exactly pleasant). And that turned out to be such a blessing because the scan showed a 50% reduction in size of the thymoma! What a great sign and sight of healing!

What my neurologist said when he showed me the scan report was even more remarkable. He said: “Irene, your prayer works!”. I was so in awe of the scan report that it took me a bit of time to take in what he said. That was a testament of my faith and this faith comes with work (James 2: 17). When I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis (thymoma present), we were getting ready for me to have the thymectomy surgery done once I was stable enough. However, God has a different plan.

As I was preparing myself mentally for the open chest surgery, I told everyone in my family that was the plan. My mother was devastated considering the nature of the surgery which was pretty major. She asked me to reconsider and look for alternative. But at that time, there was no alternative presented to us. MG was really new to us and it doesn’t help that it is also a rare condition with a vast variability. Looking back I understand now that we were responding to a crisis situation that was pretty traumatic. Our lives changed overnight and we were faced with the unknown. In that situation, we just jumped in to whatever that was available.

As I stabilized, the Cardiothoracic (CT) surgeon was not available. That was on top of the lockdown chaos where everything was in disarray. A year later, I started wondering if God was inviting us to see another way. So I prayed for clarity. The blessing that came out of being sick with MG was my openness to learning (and unlearning). I ended up in the rabbit hole of health and discovered so many things that was shocking to me. Shocking because I have been accustomed to a certain way of living, a certain way of “intelligence” and a certain way of processing information. In the midst of the rabbit hole adventure, I discovered that the thymus still has important functions and roles for our immune system. What a shocking discovery! I was told the thymus is basically useless in adulthood but that is far from truth. So I started to lean on the direction of foregoing the surgery.

Part of the learning process also brought me to the knowledge that Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) modality of acupuncture is helpful for MG. So there I was, praying for a good one and God did not disappoint. I met my TCM Physician who has a Masters in autoimmunity, not only that, he also has someone dear to him that is in remission of MG. What a blessing! Through them, I discovered that it is possible to shrink the thymoma naturally with herbs. So that sealed our decision to go the natural way.

The thymoma diagnosis also made it possible for me to do this. It is well encapsulated and not pressing on any of my organs, so it’s actually pretty stable. With almost zero information (or evidence) on natural shrinking of thymoma, we entered our journey with faith (2 Corinthians 5: 7). At that time, we did not know if anything was going to work. The encouragement I got from people were generally to do the surgery while I still can. And after the MG crisis in 2023, I even told my husband if nothing change in my thymus, perhaps it’s time to reconsider the surgery. Right actions after that led me to feeling better and I sort of forgot about surgery. In the midst of that, we discovered ONE documented case of thymoma shrinking. That was giving me hope. And that hope and faith was rewarded with sight on Jan 2025.

I was overcome by joy and was really in awe of my Good God who sees, known and loved me. Filled with hope, I’d like to share this hope with you. In my subsequent posts, I will be sharing more of what I’ve done and changes that has contributed to the physical healing of my thymus. Do share with me your thoughts on this miracle I am experiencing and if you are in similar situation, do connect with me and let’s help each other in our journey of healing.

With lots of love,
Irene

The Beloved Who Suffers Well – Part 2

On By IreneIn Coaching, Courage, Faith, Grace, Healing, Hope, Journey, Kingdom Lifestyle, Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey, Providence, Suffering, The Beloved Who Suffers WellLeave a comment

My dear sister Bea who was instrumental in bringing me to a space of living out my desire to be known has been supporting me to do something about it. That’s what got me into sharing my reflection weekly during a very trying time healthwise. God is so good in providing friends who supported me through it.

The second reflection is one that prompted me to step out in faith. One of my biggest struggle is faith in providence, it was difficult during my years as a full time lay missionary, it was still very challenging afterwards. With the lion within me awakened, I know what is required of me is just to step out in faith: I do what I know what to do (the natural), and then trust God fully that He will do the supernatural. Here’s the reflection written and shared on 18 December 2022, may you be blessed.

When desperate, call on St. Jude! That was exactly what I did on 9 Dec, asking many companions to pray together with me. St. Jude activated saints around me that loved me into the deep which eventually led me to stillness that brought about breakthrough.

Examining my desire to be healed led me to realise how much I did I not prioritise my body due to limited funds. I wanted to check the state of my body and take the right action, I did not. I wanted to do a proper body detox and cleanse, I did not. I wanted to eat more organic, that happened limitedly. Realising my own sin against my body; I apologized and reconciled with my body.

My body start opening up to respond positively to treatment. I started gaining more sleep with nightly deliverance prayer from anxiety. Then I started embodying a decisive identity of “I am important”. Being decisive to make me a priority led me to my current holistic doctor. With renewed hope, I’ve started a nutritional supportive regime and so far my body is responding well.

Praising God for His favour and thanking you for your continous prayer. As I dare to hope and trust in the Lord, I am also sharing my appeal with you. Please pray about this and I truly appreciate any form of support.

Love and blessings,
Irene

#thebelovedwhosufferswell


With this reflection, I attached my appeal and my work in mental fitness promotional poster. For the purpose of sharing it here, I have removed edited out some information due to sensitivity and ethical practice.

The responses I garnered were mixed; some are very encouraging, some even took action to bless me financially, some immediately helped me to promote my work and some went totally silent. The silent part can be deafening and I took it with grace, believing that they are praying for me. This stepping out in faith exercise brought me to realization that I finally get it: I get the lesson that God is teaching me since the beginning of my YES to Him. The idol of my false sense of self sufficiency was well and truly shattered this time. I realized all these while, what I thought was lack of trust was rooted in me trying to control all the outcomes of my life including my attempts to control God. Now I understand the sense of lack of freedom whenever I am invited to trust God in financial providence. With all sincerity, I tried my best to trust and allow God to work but there’s more anxiety than freedom. This amazing breakthrough that came with the awakened lion within is grace from God. I am also seeing this partially as the fruit of my own daily practice of mental fitness. All these has been prepared before hand for me to come to a moment of grace where I dare to step out and I also dare to trust and allow God to provide as He pleases.

So here I am stepping out in faith to invite you to consider my work in mental fitness training. If you are curious about this, connect with me. If someone you know may benefit from this program, send them to me. I pray that you are blessed by my reflection and that you are encouraged to find victory in your challenges and sufferings. May you find the courage to step out in faith!

With lots of love,
Irene

The Beloved Who Suffers Well – Part 1

On By IreneIn Courage, Faith, Grace, Healing, Hope, Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey, SufferingLeave a comment

Having the privilege to be off drugs and living pretty well for a short period of time has been nothing short of a blessing. Being inflicted with a nasty flare up of Myasthenia Gravis around end of November all through December of 2022 has become an awakening for me. I am given yet another chance in life. I praise God for the people He placed in my life to bring forth “a new life” in me. I was so sick that I can only share my reflections personally with close friends. Those who supported me has been a blessing to me and has been blessed by my sharing. So here I am sharing my past reflections in parts as I believed that everyone deserves victory in their suffering.

This was written and shared on 11 December 2022 and it was my breakthrough reflection.

Upon being invited to stay with the desire to be known, so many things came out. One identity I am invited to take on now is “The Beloved who Suffers Well”. I sensed my own discomfort in it but then who is the first Beloved who Suffers Well? None other than our Lord Jesus Christ. He showed us that the Cross is the way to Glory and I am to be focused on the grace of the moment.

What came out of my reflection surprised me. I only want to be known of the good stuffs but in my reality now I am crying out to be known in my suffering. To dare to bare the suffering. So here are the symptoms I am experiencing:

– muscle weakness
– unable to swallow properly without drug. It’s sometimes hard even with drugs
– severe double vision
– dizziness
– unstable movement
– jittery feelings on my muscles
– cold numbness on my lips and pallate
– slurry speech
– loss of appetite
– heaviness on my chest
– anxiety / depression (drug related)
– diarrhea (drug related)

I desire to suffer well like Christ and I recognise opportunities to do that. When things felt good, praise Him and when it is not that pleasant; look to the Cross for His grace for all these shall pass.

Continue to pray for me.

Love and blessings,
Irene

#thebelovedwhosufferswell

I pray that you are blessed by my sharing and that you find victory in your suffering.

With lots of love,
Irene

What It Takes to Sort out 48k+ Emails

On By IreneIn Coaching, Mental Fitness, Myasthenia Gravis Healing JourneyLeave a comment

I get an almost continuous prompting warning me that my inbox is almost full. And it comes with a solution: upgrade your space for $X. Nice solution but doesn’t serve my purpose. My personal email address has been in existence for 10 years now and I am the type who does not naturally sort things out in order. Just the way I am, preferring human connection than a tidy house kind of person. As in any human being, our strengths are complemented by our lack. Sometimes my weaknesses comes with a price tag. I often get overwhelmed by details as I am not a naturally detailed oriented person, so when I get overwhelmed, I run away from the task and procrastinate until it get the better of me. That often resulted in unnecessary stress.

Recently I discovered that tasks that used to be overwhelming no longer affect me as it used to be. The greatest example I had recently was sorting out 48k+ emails in my inbox to mere 6k+ of important emails worth keeping. It took me 5 days to do it in between other daily chores and it felt great to have that sorted out. That has been a great exercise where I get to look back at my the last 10 years of my life through the lens of the emails I received. It brought back the exact emotions I felt at the specific seasons of life. I also grieved the loss of some friendships who were important but whether I like it or not, it’s best that I come to term they are lost friendships. There were also moments of warmth reading emails from people who are already at the other side of eternity, brought back cherishing memories of these people. The changing seasons are also evident in the newsletters I subscribed. Some of them started from the beginning and are still relevant today. Some has been long gone as they don’t serve my season. It’s so interesting to see and embrace my life through this exercise.

Upon completion of this gigantic task, I noticed a few things;

  1. 48k+ emails is no joke and the fact that I felt stable all through was amazing. No overwhelmed feeling, I did not feel like I need to rush it, I am ok to take a bit at a time and it felt good to finish. In the past, I would have fainted, vomited and gave up after three pages. I am still in awe that it was possible and calm
  2. The ability to feel the emotions of the seasons again is a gift of looking back with gratitude. With that, moving forward in hope becomes a choice of lifestyle
  3. It was quite easy to delete things I thought was important back then
  4. I don’t need an overload of information, hence it is time to reevaluate what do I want in my inbox

I attributed my ability to calmly take on this task to my one year of mental fitness practice. I am a Transformation Coach who also offers Mental Fitness Training through Positive Intelligence (PQ). What better way to give than to be one who is living out the lifestyle of mental fitness practices. PQ practices bring about incremental improvement, it took me a year to reach this point where I see a breakthrough. A significant improvement is observed with just 6 weeks of practice and for me personally, I benefited from a continuous practice that strengthen my mental fitness.

Another major factor is my physical healing. It is one thing to praise God through sickness which is great as that is the source of strength and holiness. Having a physically abled body does make a heap of difference on how we take on life. The combination physical healing and being mentally fit are in my opinion making this great task possible. It is like speaking and living out the language of possibility in a whole new level.

Friends, if you are looking into improving your peak performance, wellness and relationships; do reach out to me for more information. I’d be delighted to hear your story and offer a way forward. As you take time to reflect upon your life, I pray that you’ll have the desire to for higher ground and greater joy. Wishing you the best in your journey.

With lots of love,
Irene

From Drug Pusher to Drug Addict to Sobriety

On By IreneIn Celebration, Faith, Grace, Journey, Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey, Season of LifeLeave a comment

Yes, that’s part of the story of my life! Many years ago, when I was young, vibrant and energetic, I worked as a legal drug pusher – the way pharmaceutical representatives fondly call our job title. I have left pharma for almost 10 years now. A little more than 2 years ago, after being diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis (MG), I went down the path of pharma drug addiction – by necessity! It became a journey of unlearning what I thought I knew and learning a new way of honoring my body. Praise be to God, I am now in sobriety for a little more than 2 months.

In the background is a snapshot of the cocktail of drugs I was on

Having a pharma background has indirectly made me ignorant to the natural healing ability of my body. As I am also not free from confirmation bias, so it was kind of an eye opener to walk down the path desiring total sobriety from pharma drug. It is not uncommon for patient living with an autoimmunity being told that they have to be drug dependent for the rest of their lives. I stumbled upon stories of people who defy the odds and achieve something called a remission, some even successfully reversed their autoimmune condition with the right protocol. In the beginning it was amazement for me and kind of a wishful thinking that I want to be one of those who beat this. As time goes, the more I learned about this amazing God given body, the more I am convinced that healing is possible.

So started my quest for an alternative natural treatment. In the quest for healing, one main attitude that I took on is radical self responsibility for my health – I am responsible for my health, not my physicians. Hence that calls for a shift in the way I treat my body. What comes in contact becomes important be it the food I take, supplements, cleaning agents or even medical treatment I allow in my body. “Are those interventions necessary?, What are the risks vs benefits?” are among the questions I will ask before proceeding with any medical intervention. Thanks to my pharma background, reading products insert and clinical paper is something I am accustomed to. What it comes down to is doing my own research and own my decision as I should be the one who is most in tune with my body, knows my body best – not just following orders from my physicians. Self responsibility is an attitude welcomed by my physicians, it’s much easier to work with me as I do not put the burden of my health on them.

The initial part of the journey felt quite lonely as MG is a rare condition. What’s more rare are people who successfully reversed their condition naturally. The support group I joined are mostly conventional based which is fine as that’s the best known ways. I am grateful that I got support from my family who also believe that natural healing is possible. With heaps of prayer, I met my Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) physician. Acupuncture, chiro work and TCM herbs worked for me. It may not the answer for every MG patient but it’s worth a try. I recognized the importance of radical self responsibility when it comes to healing as I met people who unconsciously embodied their victimhood in their healing journey. Living as a victim will not bring any freedom or victory. We are better off doing the heart work of getting out of victimhood to accountability if we want any progress at all in our lives. Talk to me if you’d like to explore tools to shift from victimhood to accountability.

Has there been bad trial for me? Yes, you bet! Some of the stuffs I tried not only did not help, it worsened my condition. When that happened, I simply stop and keep searching for things that may help. Have I been reckless? Oh yes, indeed recklessness was the main driver towards my sobriety. In March this year, I ventured into mushroom growing at home. It was an awesome experience to able to harvest fresh mushroom at home. What I did not consider was the spores from the mushroom. For any healthy person, those spores are easy peasy to get rid of from their body. For me at that time still on immunosuppressant, I got infected and suffered prolonged cough. Tried all sort of medication and it only just helped the condition a little bit. I knew for a fact, I need to be weaned off the immunosuppressant in order for the fungi infected cough to be healed. Praise God I have at that point started the weaning process. The cough been quite an ordeal and I thank God once I was off the immunosuppressant, my condition started improving exponentially.

A very interesting experience of being off pharma drug was the withdrawal syndrome. My hands and feet were swollen for a month; I shivered at my neck while the peripheries of my body felt crazily warm. To intensify the drama, the prolonged cough finally affected my taste buds. When my taste buds were affected, that’s when things got hard. I enjoy my food and for that simple pleasure to be taken away, I was left in a state of choice again. Do I rise up victoriously or do I sulk in self pity? I chose victory. Well, experiencing drug withdrawal with an affected taste bud has become a reality, I may as well laugh it out. Not in my power to stop that with a switch but definitely in my power to define the experience with an attitude of praise and gratitude. As I continue to praise God for His healing power upon me and His overflowing grace that helped me through; I find peace, strength and courage to persevere in my healing journey.

So today, I am a little less young, still vibrant and regaining my energy; being thankful for the experience I had journeying from a drug pusher to a drug addict and now in sobriety. Thank you for your support dear friends through my journey. It is my prayer that you will also embody radical self responsibility when it comes to honoring your body. May your journey be an exciting one!

With lots of love,
Irene

What I Learnt Through Sickness

On By IreneIn Celebration, Commitment, Courage, Faith, Grace, Hope, Journey, Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey, Season of LifeLeave a comment

The vivid thing that I remember was being overwhelmed with grace in the beginning of the diagnosis of Myasthenia Gravis (MG). When I first started having symptoms, we did some research and were desperately hoping it was something mild and less nasty. The illness progressed really quickly to the point of hospitalization and looking back I now know I was just a day or two away from a full on myasthenic crisis, where intubation would be necessary. We are ever so grateful for the grace and the favor from the Lord upon us that I was just in time.

I was determined to make my season of healing a season of grace and that mindset became the guide of my search. The journey was tough and at every juncture, I searched for the blessings behind it. My mother was in my house helping me at the early stage and she needed to get back to my hometown for her doctor’s appointment; so my niece helped for a week followed by my sister for another week. Then the lockdown happened. I was a little more than month out of hospital, still very weak and found myself without any help. My attitude was “think possible and do what’s possible”. With the outlook of gratitude, here are some things I learnt (please note that these are my personal opinion derived from personal experience);

Emergency care is life saver
I am alive today thanks to emergency care where I get immediate help and rescue medication. In my case IVIg was administered to bring my body back to a more stable state. I am evermore grateful for my dear friend who helped me in the admission and also my neurologist who is respectful and dedicated to saving me at the time of hospitalization.

Get a medical insurance coverage in case you need it
This is where grace was really abounds. My work as a lay missionary paid me nothing monetarily and so that led me to a decision to put my insurance to a holiday mode. Thank God I get to restart it in time for its use. We are privilege to have private hospitals that can attend to us immediately. The bill was really huge for us and thanks to my medical insurance, I paid only a fraction of it. I got my medical insurance when I was young with the desire to not ever need it and it turned out to be a blessing when I needed it.

It’s liberating to unlearn limiting beliefs and learn new ones
I’ve worked as a medical representative for quite some time and the medical field was one that I looked from a one sided perspective. When I was diagnosed I was told there is no cure for MG and that I would be on medication for life. I know the fact that there is a possibility to depend on drugs for life but I do not like that option. So I start researching extensively on the topic of autoimmunity. The search opened my eyes to a whole new possibility of healing naturally. I learnt not only about autoimmunity but also about cancer. The whole dynamic of the body becomes something I start seeing a whole. It’s like scales were peeled off my eyes that I now am able to embrace the fact that the body is really interconnected. I may have an autoimmune of the nerves but healing my gut would be the gateway to heal the autoimmune.

Understanding the modality of natural means of healing gave me a lot of hope. My research led me to meet my Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) doctor who helped me to heal to the point of wellness. This in turn enabled me to start tapering down the immunosuppressant I am on. This is hope enfleshed and I am so grateful.

Diagnostic tools of modern hospital are helpful
I have a good relationship with my neurologist and I appreciate his care for me. Some MG patients are not as lucky as they did not meet good doctors who are respectful. The diagnostic tools in modern hospitals are really helpful in the navigation of disease management. Yearly CT scan is needed for me to monitor the thymoma, blood tests will give an indication of what’s going on. So for me, even though I am experiencing healing through my TCM doctor, I am still going under the care of my neurologist.

Mental fitness is a plus for healing journey
I am privileged to have gone through my own mental fitness journey in 2021 and now on the journey of advance coach training in this area. Mental fitness is our ability to take on life challenges with a positive rather than negative mindset. It’s the work developed by Positive Intelligence (PQ) and the programme has helped me tremendously in stress management. It is a well known fact that stress is a root cause of many diseases and I believe the it was major contributing factor to me getting MG. Since the diagnosis in 2020, I made it a point to regulate my emotions well. With PQ I was able to identify the source of stress in my life and am able to regulate even more effectively. I learnt tools that helped me to stop the spiraling down of negative thoughts and emotions that often resulted in stress and unhappiness. My PQ journey has seen me being happier and more productive in my work. I run an eight weeks mental fitness journey to as a foundation for clients who desires to achieve their desired outcomes with ease and great happiness. Connect with me to find out more.

Healing is possible when we take responsibility
Self responsibility is so crucial in healing. I take full responsibility for my healing by educating myself on the disease, being discerning on what I put into my body and choosing a healthier lifestyle. Education is what helped me to tap into hope of healing through the natural means and what I learnt is such a treasure on every front. Formerly a drug rep, I know well how modern drugs work. I acknowledge that modern drugs can be quite helpful especially in the beginning phase of getting ill. Dealing with symptoms can be debilitating and having drugs to help control it for a little while helps us get back on track. However, to gain full healing, it would be worth it to look at natural means. In my condition, the drugs I was on just could not bring me to a state of wellness. I thank God for TCM modality that brought me to where I am. Getting to know other people who are sick and stuck, it became apparent to me that they lack the courage to take responsibility of their bodies. They are likely to embody an attitude of helplessness and depended fully upon the advice of the healthcare provider without any question or research. Those advices are great but as responsible adults, we are invited to discern what’s best for us. Nobody knows your body better than you do, in all logic, we should be the “expert” of our bodies. What went missing that we became so disconnected from our bodies? I can answer that for myself – I was not present to my body and I did not know how to love my body fully. Through MG I learnt to reconnect, listen to and love my body the way God intended me to.

I intentionally choose my diet, lifestyle and what kind of medication I allowed in my body. Healthcare providers had encouraged me to take certain drug for prevention of some disease. My response was to check on the recommended drug; is it necessary? What are the contents of the drug? What potential side effect would it bring? Would the mechanism of action injure me due to my condition? What is known about this drug? Is it even ethical? These are some of the questions I would bring to the table of discernment whether to take any additional drug. In my discernment I would tap into grace of the Living God and connect to my instinct for decision. When it concerns life, I think it’s important to go beyond our rational mind to our intuition. All these requires a sense of self responsibility. This body is a gift from Christ and it is my responsibility to take good care of it.

God heals the way He pleased
One of my first response when I got sick was to pray. I invited family and friends to join me on a 54 days rosary novena with the intention of my healing. I secretly wished I would be one of those who received healing instantaneously. However, in my case God is pleased to heal me according to natural law. It’s a process that I go through with some days being great and some being really crappy. I learnt to be grateful through it all. This is a journey of endurance and trust training. I certainly see my trust in the Lord increase steadily. Do I still cry when it’s difficult? YES I do! I also experience recovery from the negative emotions way faster and with every hurdle comes greater trust. I am learning as St. Paul taught us to find contentment in all circumstances (Philippians 4: 12).

I hope my little nuggets of learning is helpful for you. Wherever you are in your healing journey, the burden feels lighter if you have someone who walk alongside you. Should you be considering a coach, I am here. My prayer for you is that you find fullness of life in the midst of your circumstances.

With lots of love,
Irene

Recounting 2 Years of Healing Journey

On By IreneIn Celebration, Courage, Faith, Grace, Grieve, Hope, Journey, Myasthenia Gravis Healing Journey, ProvidenceLeave a comment

The recollection of events that happened 2 years ago is still vivid in my mind. It sometimes felt surreal that we’ve been through such drama, especially now that I am in a much better state physically. Just a few weeks ago I shared my grace of healing with a Myasthenia Gravis (MG) support group, one response that I got was pretty astounding: “that’s crazy, you are one lucky person!”. Indeed I am really blessed to have found healing through Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

I can count so many blessings that came out of my healing journey; one of them being my openness to unlearn what I thought I know to be the “right” way of viewing sickness and relearn to connect to my body through natural means. As a former drug rep, this is a sanctifying journey and I am just simply amazed at the grace of openness that I was able to tap on. Because of MG I enrolled myself into all sort of health education programs and the irony is that I finally understand a little bit of the principle of TCM through an English speaking American program despite growing up more deeply rooted in Chinese culture (I only speak a few Chinese languages but am unable to read or write Chinese scripts).

Acupuncture has been attributed to being quite helpful for MG, with that knowledge I started praying and looking for an acupuncturist from the very beginning of the diagnosis. I finally found one after more than a year of searching when my friend shared his experience with his TCM who also does acupuncture. Meeting my TCM doctor was an answered prayer. I only wanted acupuncture to supplement my current conventional medicine regime but I was given more.

At my first appointment, I found out that my TCM doctor did his masters in autoimmunity, hence he was totally unsurprised by MG with thymoma. Another assurance came my way when I met his wife who had MG with thymoma 17 years prior. That gave me a lot of hope as I know then the doctor I found knows what he’s dealing with as MG is a rare condition. I started off with just acupuncture as I wasn’t sure about taking herbal meds on top of my current conventional regime. After consultation with my TCM doctor, his advice was to take the different meds at an hour and a half apart.

It was Aug of 2021, I started experiencing slight worsening when I finally met my TCM doctor. Came Sept, I lost my dearest younger brother and that bout of emotional stress threw me to the floor of MG flareup. I was so weak to the point of having difficulty in swallowing water. So at that time, I restarted steroid and pyridostigmine to help control the symptoms. Both my neurologist and TCM doctor had great empathy and were really supportive.

By early Oct, I started herbal meds with weekly therapy that involves cupping, chiro work and acupuncture. Within 3 months, I showed signs of improvement to the point of wellness. One example would be computer screen time. At the peak of when symptoms was relatively low on conventional drug treatment, I could withstand computer screen time up to 10 minutes and then my eyelids will start to droop. By that point, my whole body would feel a tiring sensation like an out-of-sync-electric-current numbness that runs through my body. I would need to lie down for at least 20 minutes to recover. After 3 months of TCM treatment, I can withstand computer screen time up to an hour before I started feeling my eyelids. I only need to take an eyelid rest by closing my eyes for about 30 seconds and then I am ready to continue with my work at the computer again. That’s a massive difference and I can only praise God for His grace that led me this far into my complete healing.

Today I am on yet another milestone journey – the last leg of immunosuppressant dose reduction prescribed by my neurologist. The last appointment in Dec showed how much I improved clinically and that somehow gave him the confidence to propose the beginning of the dose reduction. I am ever so grateful at the mercy God is showing me. His mercy that enveloped me from the beginning of the journey. His grace that led me to decide to make this a meaningful season. I’ve learnt so much through this and it has certainly changed me in the way I view life, the world and the way I honor my relationships. My heart is filled with gratitude towards everyone who jumped in support of me and my family during the most difficult time. I am praying for you daily as I thank God for the healing I received.

Being able to turn any circumstances into blessing is indeed a grace I received and happy to tap on. One of my way of blessing others is sharing my journey and what I learnt. My next post will be focused on what I’ve learnt through my healing journey. When I prayed for healing, I was expecting an immediate miracle. God, however has a different thought (Isaiah 55: 8-9). In His mercy, He allowed me to experience the fullness of loving myself – transforming my mind, teaching me patience, forming me in His love and my trust in Him. I experienced a miracle that manifests itself in the ordinariness of life, the power of natural remedies and the effectiveness of life long mental fitness training. Praising God in my own transformation and looking forward to share more with you.

With lots of love,
Irene